Living in Costa Rica for some time I have noticed a stark difference in the way people greet one another here as opposed to the U.S. For sure there is the tradition whereby men greet ladies with a light kiss on the cheek. That is of course noticeable within the first hour of your first arrival. But I am talking about things much further below the surface. Compared to Costa Rica, folks in the U.S. are extremely “flippant” when it comes to their modes of greeting one another. A man may greet a friend, acquaintance, or even a family member, with a slight wave of the hand and a “hey what’s up?” Or, there may be no formal greeting at all, but simply a nod or other subtle mode that acknowledges the presence of the other person. So what’s the big deal about that, Costa Rica Guy, you ask? Well nothing if you want to remain wrapped up tight in your own little “bubble world” and never make an impact on other people. I have noticed a much higher level of vibrancy when it comes to the way ticos (and other Latin cultures that live amongst them, such as the Colombians) greet one another. They really put some thought and energy into it. It is a cultural habit that I have had a hard time adapting to. There seems to be hundreds of different phrases that are used for greetings here….that go way beyond the Spanish 101 of “buenos dias,” or “como esta?” This post is not meant to be a language lesson, so I will not go into those here. In fact, what I am getting at with this post has little to do with the words used in a greeting, but with the attitude that one brings to the greeting, or, moreover, the motivation. I have been reading a book entitled The Love Dare. It is about learning how to really express love for your spouse or companion. It is written along the lines of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, with forty short chapters that offer sound advice and practical ways you can practice the art of love. Today’s chapter was about greetings. I liked this quote: “When someone communicates that they are glad to see you, your personal sense of self-worth increases. You feel more important and valued. That’s because a good greeting sets the stage for a positive and healthy interaction. Like love, it puts wind in your sails.” I have to say that I have allowed my U.S. cultural inclinations to stymie my adaption to the warm and energetic way in which Costa Ricans greet one other. My girlfriend often scolds me for the cold and insensitive way that I tend to greet people. It is just the way I was brought up, as in, it ain’t no big deal. But it is and today’s “love chapter” really shamed me. You see the Costa Ricans will greet each other in this sensitive way even when they don’t really feel like it. That’s because the greeting is not for their personal benefit, but for the benefit of making the other person feel good and for the benefit of creating a positive setting for interaction. It probably is one of the main reasons why social events of the ticos end up being much more raucous and fun events that what I can remember from the same in the U.S. Ticos are not afraid of “letting their guards down” when it comes to their social interactions. We in the U.S., for some reason, are. What could be that reason? Maybe it is that we are more self-conscious about our “image,” i.e., afraid of “blowing our cool.” In pocas palabras, we take life, and ourselves, just too damn seriously. Why not lighten up a little. Let your guard down and bring some serious pura vida energy into your greetings. Give that next lady you meet a kiss on the cheek, or that next guy a “high-five.” As Tony Robbins is fond of saying, that’ll surely “alter their state.”
Okay for those wanting to learn a really tico greeting, here’s one…..”Que huevon, todo bien?” Use with care and always with a smile…..Pura Vida!
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