I guess I should consider myself very fortunate to live here in Santo Domingo de Heredia, Costa Rica. To the east I have an incredible view of the majestic and towering Vulcán Irazú. To the south, the “Cerros de Escazu” and to the north, Vulcán Barva. I live in a quiet residential neighborhood. There is a “colegio,” or high school nearby, and every day throngs of students walk down my street on their way to school. The air is fresh and cool, with Santo Domingo sitting at a higher elevation than San Jose. Everything I need is close and the city is far enough away as to be a distant memory when I am home. So why do I feel so discontent this beautiful Monday morning as I painfully try to hammer out the 500 or so words of this post? Well, I had a problem, a “financial” problem, on Friday that really put my in a tail-spin and I can’t for the life of me seem to pull out of it. My banker made a comment that really struck me. She said in trying to console me, “well, Scott I guess that life really has a way of getting in the way of things, now doesn’t it?” Yes it does! Yesterday I experienced a nice Father’s Day. My girlfriend cooked me an incredible Colombian lunch and we all went to church later that evening. I guess one of the reasons that I feel a little down is that I never heard from my own children. But who can blame them. I mean I haven’t been much of a father for some time now. Wait, let me re-phrase that, I have really sucked as a father for some time now. I was thinking about that this morning and trying to come up with some answers. My oldest daughter, Michelle, is coming in a few days and I am thrilled about that. Although, she is coming with her boyfriend and that doesn’t thrill me so much. But I am sure we will have a great time together. Wouldn’t it be nice though, if everything could just be “perfect.” There is always that “perfect vision” of how life should be that we hold in our heads and it seems that things just never seem to measure up, now do they? There are always so many constraints such as distance, money, responsibilities, weather, health, distractions, etc. It would be nice if God gave each of us a “magic wand” that we could just wave and make things, well, perfect. But would that even make us happy? Probably not, because just as soon as we arrived at that perfect situation, we would concoct a different vision in our heads and the whole “cycle of discontentment” would start all over again. I guess the silver lining is that the fact that things are never exactly like we want them, at least not for very long, keeps us striving forward to make them so. And it is that striving that spurs human growth. We thereby become better because of the effort to clear away all the stuff that we see in our lives that we consider bad. Ironic, huh? Make no mistake about it, I don’t like being separated from my kids. It is not in any way consistent with my perfect vision of how life should be. Many thoughtful people who know my situation, vaguely, then say, well go back to South Carolina. But I don’t like the idea of “going back.” I like the idea of “moving forward.” Going back is just not an option for me. The implications of taking that type of action are….I am searching for a word here…..not good! I could write a lengthy and boring description of why, but just trust me, it wouldn’t work….not for anyone!. So here I am. It is a tough situation, but one that I am determined to make the best of, however long it takes. Writing this blog is often great therapy for me in this process, but I hope that reading it might provide a small bit of therapy for you too. I take solace in knowing that my situation is not the only one that is “tough.” Many of you are faced with situations far more grave and yet you keep moving forward. Despite all the critics that are judging you because you are not doing things the way they would, or according to their ideas of what is right, just or moral, you stay the course. If that is your situation I applaud you as a fellow traveler on this road of life. For while the road may be quite “bumpy” at times and full of pot-holes and obstacles, just like many of our roads here in Costa Rica, it does lead somewhere different than where we began. Will that somewhere be a “perfect” place? No, but it can at least be an improvement.
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