You’re either somebody, or you’re nobody. Growing up I always had visions of grandeur dancing in my head. I wanted to be someone important, or do something significant. This seems to be a prevailing mentality in the U.S., as if it were bred into us. The rise of media power in our everyday lives only fuels that desire. Everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame. But if you stop and reflect for a moment, really great and significant things have come from the smallest acts of the most inconspicuous among us. The decision of Rosa Parks not to sit at the back of the bus comes to mind. There are countless others, most not so famous, but significant and life changing nonetheless. At 48 the desire to be or do something “big” has lost some of its former flame. It helps to be living in a country that relishes in the small. I mean the ticos even get their name from their inclination to diminish things in everyday life, often adding the suffix “tico,” or “tito” to common nouns. Why? Because small is “in” in Costa Rica. The ticos live in small houses and consume far less than the average person in the U.S. could even imagine. In short, the ticos view a small life as a happy life. So my question is this…is this insatiable desire for greatness that tends to consume us gringos really a good thing? In a society so focused on fame everything tends to become politicized. This occurs because influencing public opinion is the fastest path towards stardom. If I can make others love me then I can reach the pinnacle of fame and fortune. I can only do this if I play the political game of appealing to everyone, while really mattering to no one. Or, at least I have to develop my “base” of supporters and pander to them at all costs, even my own truthfulness and integrity. Countless numbers of people pass from life to death unnoticed by the rest of us every day. What a frightening thought….to die without recognition. I can’t let that happen. I have to matter. But in the struggle to make ourselves matter we run the risk of losing what really does matter, our souls. In the desire to do and be “big” many have sold their soul at a discounted price. I believe we have to put more value on the truth that lies within us, in our souls. Compared to the mass of humanity, we are small and we will always be small. The only thing that makes some seem larger than life is that they have been able to manipulate public opinion into elevating them to that level. But it is a fiction….they are flesh and blood just like the rest of us. Rather than living the rest of my life seeking elevation, or adulation, I would prefer to live it with the realization that I am no better than the beggar on the street corner, or the kid sleeping on the sidewalk exposed to the elements and to the scorn and derision of the countless hordes that walk blindly by or over him. In remembering how small I truthfully am, I set myself up for doing something limitlessly large in the eyes of my maker, to reach out to another equal, but not for what they can do for me. As long as my every waking moment is consumed with my search for popularity, every action I take will be geared towards a “prid pro quo.” Maybe I will reach some level of the greatness that I seek. Maybe not. But in the end where will I be? A man without a soul? A man who started big, but finished small.
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