Lily used a word this morning that caused me to step back and ponder…the word was “ilusionado.” Spanish and English do share quite a few words that are strikingly similar, but this is not one of them. The word means hopeful, excited or eager. However, it sounds an awful lot like illusion in the English language. That word means something quite different. In English we speak of “illusion” as being something that appears to be, but really isn’t. We also use words like disillusioned and delusion to describe states that are quite the opposite to the Spanish “ilusionado.” All this can get down right confusing for a gringo, especially one approaching 50 and feeling these days a bit “desilusionado.” Actually that word has a meaning synonymous with its English counterpart. Wew, as I often say, “$%#@ing Spanish!” There are simply too many words for an old dog to ever hope to learn. So I will just keep drudging along with my 3-year old level of Spanish hoping one day I will wake up fluent, but growing a bit more disillusioned each day that it will ever happen for me. Speaking of illusions, why is it that as we grow older we lose those youthful delusions of grandeur? As I was walking with Lily pondering her use of that confusing word and talking about the goings on of the children, nieces and nephews, I began to think about growing older and becoming disillusioned. Is it really necessary that we allow that to happen to us? And what is the result…that we become more grounded? Becoming “grounded” sounds to me a lot like giving in to the gravitational forces that are at work to try to pull me under…six feet under, that is! I would rather delay that process for as long as I can. I am sure there are many who would quickly say that Scott (me) is quite deluded. After all, if I weren’t I probably would not be here doing what it is that I am doing. No I would be running around chasing the almighty dollar and striving to live up to the expectation of the Joneses, not content unless my house was bigger, my car was more luxurious and my paycheck fatter than the other guy. Instead here I am in Costa Rica, talking incessantly about how life in the real “jungle” is the only one worth living. I guess for me, being “ilusionado” about my “delusionary illusions” is the way I escape the trap of becoming “disillusioned.” Chew on that one for a while.
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